I wonder.: Retreat Day 2

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A loner, although do enjoy the occasional companionship, if you can handle it. Enjoys long term friendships, sensitive, ponders a lot about life and people.

Retreat Day 2 [ 11:33 pm ]

Breakfast was ok today, I didn't really have a good sleep last night, I woke up being sleepier. I enjoyed the session by ps. Sandra. It reminded me a lot of things. I'm not a 'man' yet. I've made so many mistakes. Regrets won't take you anywhere. I'm just not 'there' yet... But I know which ministry to be rooted in. It took me a long time, but I found it.

Yesterday I said I won't be playing the games... I was gonna leave but couldn't find out who had the room key...sigh.... In the end I joined in the games, but left the last games 'coz I didn't want to get wet. Call me sissy or whatever you want, I'm secured enough to know what I like and don't like, unedifying words will not affect me much anymore.

I'm not sure if I had fun today ... Maybe everything was just fake... To be honest, I felt really lonely. It's not something a person can fill... I felt really like crap the whole afternoon. I hope it wasn't shown on my face... Since I can be quite the open book. I questioned the reason why I'm even here the first place. I needed time to just chilled and relax ... Instead I felt a lot more tired than usual. My emotions were in battle with my mind. I'm so sick and tired. I was contemplating to leave tonight with those who were planning to leave early. I'm only human, I feel these things as well.

Some people look like they were having genuine fun today :) I guess I must be the only one suffering inside. How blissful it is to be simple. I'll get over this feeling soon enough, I always do.

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