about me A loner, although do enjoy the occasional companionship, if you can handle it. Enjoys long term friendships, sensitive, ponders a lot about life and people. Thursday, December 27, 2007
Road Trip.
[ 6:59 pm ] It feels so nice to be taking a break now. No worries in the world!! I’ve not felt so free of everything in a very long while … yes, I’m savouring the moment. I woke up late yesterday; the better part of the day was already ‘planned’ for me, so to speak. I guess it was kinda impromptu, drove Sarah and Su Chee to Seremban together with Sunil and Yoke Yee. What better time to test the car for long distance driving. We reached Seremban around … umm … I don’t remember the time. The whole town reminded me of Ipoh. As a matter of fact, I think this is the first time I’ve ever set foot in Seremban. Looks like a sleepy town to me … I’ll rot here. Cannot take it. Sarah took us to her home … nice old house. The furniture and flooring was really nostalgic to me, reminded me of the ones we had back in the countless bungalows in the estate while growing up. MMmmm. We had dinner at some place Sarah recommended that apparently had really nice fish head noodle. Yes, it was nice. I bought back Seremban Siew Pao! Fresh out of the oven. Haven’t had those in quite a while. I think the last one I had was earlier this year. Gonna be heading to Melaka tomorrow morning together with a few people … and yeah, not much planning involved. Called Jason up around this afternoon, and that was that. We’re going Melaka … without a plan … not sure if that’s such a good idea, oh heck, I’m on break, there shouldn’t be any worries in the world. I really wanna have that Satay Celup at Jonker Street … the first and last time I had it was with Mei 9 years ago. Which means … I’ve not gone to Melaka town for nine years now. Wow. That IS long. HAVE MAP, WILL TRAVEL! 0 comments Monday, December 24, 2007
No Words.
[ 11:09 pm ] Been trying to complete this song ... the words just don't come ... I have songs ... where are the words? 0 comments Sunday, December 23, 2007
Big Day.
[ 12:11 am ] Tomorrow's the play ... earlier today I had a dream that Jason Ding was still writing a few more scenes that included us ... that wasn't a nice dream. It wasn't a nice feeling. Maybe my subconscious mind was telling me that I'm being anxious and jittery about tomorrow. Invited a few people, just hope that they turn up ... I felt, I didn't put in enough effort. Could had invited like everyone I knew, but then I realised, my circle of friends outside of church has been getting smaller .... haha ... that's not good man. Not good. I need to wash the car, it's getting really dirty ... maybe I'll do it before heading to Alvin Keng's house for lunch on Monday. I've not bought anything for Christmas ... should I? I never did for each year ... do I still have the time!? Argh ... 0 comments Thursday, December 20, 2007
Messed up.
[ 10:50 pm ] So many things on my mind ... how is that possible. A million and one things, all swirling and swirling, all filled with worries and anxieties, what am I to do? I need to sort myself out, again. In my head, I know what my priorities are, and yet, it's hard to focus and give my best. Why do I have to worry so much? Why? Why? Because I want the best outcome? Because it's my responsibility? Because I take things seriously? Why? Why can't I just throw things away and forget about it, and not have the feeling of guilt or even care of the repercussion? Sometimes, burdens are just too much for me to bear ... of course I know the we should share it with God, his Word said His yoke is light, and we should cast our burden unto Him and He'll take care of it. Why am I not doing it? Pride? Knowing something is one thing and practicing it is another. On the brighter side of things. Sometimes, I'm thankful I do go through different things in life, not only the good things, but the worse as well, otherwise, what a monotonous life I'd be living. No spice, no excitement, no problems, no experience, no mistakes. Hmmmph. 0 comments Tuesday, December 18, 2007
The Pain.
[ 4:58 pm ] Got a massive headache, argh ... and time is moving too slow. 0 comments Monday, December 17, 2007
iPhone MyPhone
[ 6:15 pm ] Man ... I'm like a drained battery. Been sleeping around 3am and waking up early for quite a few days already. Feels like crap, not refreshed at all ... and I think I'm getting sick in the throat ... oh no. Christmas animation is coming along nicely, though I'm still picky about how the butler's animation treatment should be. Sigh. I'm so fussy. I got the iPhone already. Yay. Man ... I love it ... I still owe Rachel munnies! Having the phone around does bring unwanted attention, what the heck am I thinking about. Suddenly I feel like an attention starving whore. I just love gadgets, and I wanted one, so I got it. Funny how people look and measure your worth with the things you have, I wonder when the majority of people will look at the deeper things inside a person? Anyways, yeah, I love the iPhone. Lovely, elegant piece of gadget man has ever made :) Too bad I still can't make calls with it, no unlocking solution for the latest firmware. Oh well, until then, it'll serve as a nice iPod Touch. Christmas is just round the corner! Kinda in the mood already. Was at The Curve yesterday night with a few other people to celebrate Evan's birthday at The Apartment. I love the ambience. I don't mind having my house look like that! Simple, functional and stylo :) Love the Christmas decor at The Curve, though it did feel a little over the top. I love the end-of-the-year feeling. Time of reflecting, and moving on to better things the year after. Speaking of which, Friday is my last day at AYA! So sad. I think I have to come into office with a box to put my things into ... that feels like ... being fired hahaha. Hmm ... such wonderful memories in AYA for the past 3 years plus. I think I've changed somewhat during my stay there. I owe it all to pastor for giving me the chance though, I really thought they were gracious, haha. Anyways, I am just thankful. Now, it's my turn to bless them back. Ah shoot ... haven't bought anything for this Friday's gift exchange yet ... argh ... what to get? what to get? 0 comments Thursday, December 13, 2007
Late.
[ 8:42 pm ] Working late in the office can be quite enjoyable thing to do when you have a deadline to meet. I kinda like the peace and quiet, can concentrate better. I'm trying to complete the Butler's animation scene for Christmas as much as possible for tomorrow's full rehearsal. I love what I'm doing. If only I had more time to experiment. Anyways, back to work. 0 comments Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Jam.
[ 4:07 pm ] Was stuck in a massive jam on my way to work today. Wasn't really happy as I was late. At the back of my head, I was trying to figure out the cause of the jam ... it's a public holiday today for Selangor, there shouldn't be any jam. Finally, from a distance I saw a big white and blue umbrella ... !@#!@#!@# freaking cops made a road block. Apparently there's supposed to be a rally going on somewhere. Damn cops are not even doing their job of inspecting the cars ... they were busily chatting with each other. Am I pissed? Of course I am. I was stuck in a bloody 1 half hour backlog while you're supposedly conducting roadblock ... but no, you're busy talking. !$#!@#!@# Anyways, what a beautiful morning. NO IT'S NOT. Ok ok ok ... Things are a little slow at work at the moment, for me, at least. Nothing major is coming up. I applied to have a break on the final week of the year. Hmmm ... this means, I roughly have about less than 2 weeks left in AYA. Wow ... the time has finally come. Time to move on and look ahead to greater things and challenges. What am I building? I wonder. I'm starting to adore Plumb, good band, good music. I recently found out about Skillet, a punk/rock/emo/scremo band ... the Comatose album is pretty good. Now I get to listen to good music in the car :) Speaking of which, driving is such a pleasure now ... still not allowed to hit the pedal hard as the engine needs to run in at about 3000-5000Km ... it's only 620Km now. Haven't drove around above 100km/h ... sigh, so slow. Had a talk with Ps. Sandra the other day about my last day at work as well as other things like D2Y2 and my responsibilities. It's my baby, ain't gonna let it go. So, I'll still be doing it, albeit with a little lesser commitment as my role will no longer be the coordinator. You need someone in full time to take on that role ... or someone who's free. I believe this is the best course of action, I can concentrate fully on making the site better than before. Having to look for articles and chasing writers is definitely not my cup of tea. I was thinking about quite a few people who hurt my feelings these couple of days. Yeah, they were on my mind. Though, my thoughts were not of bitterness, nor were they of forgiveness. I don't know what I was thinking about. Looking into closures for a lot of things I guess? Maybe that's what I'm looking for. With every beating you get, I believe you'll end up growing and making yourself a better man. Well, that's what I believe ... speaking from experiences anyways. 0 comments
Inevitable.
[ 2:22 am ] So many things happened … just don’t have the time to write about it now. I’m feeling a little tired … then again, it’s 2 in the morning … who isn’t? Point forms!
0 comments Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Tarts
[ 2:05 pm ] A new Malay colleague joined us yesterday ... she looked like Yan Yi. Hmmm ... nevermind. It's good that the company is growing. I like to see many more people joining us ... a little change of environment is good. Christmas practice is going on again tonight, I don't even have the time to get started on the animations man. I'm beginning to doubt if I could even finish it on time for the full dress rehearsal ... I guess this is where faith comes in. I had a good time chatting with someone yesterday night. I think I need a little of that every now and then. She said quite a few things that did made me wonder, did I really change that much? I guess that's good. I'm kinda peeved that we don't get a holiday next Tuesday because we're in KL ... didn't realise it was a Selangor state holiday ... man ... anyways, I'm so looking forward to the week long break end of the year. Thinking of driving down to Muar for a day or two and pay Erwin and a few buddies a visit ... and of course, buy LOTS OF PINEAPPLE TARTS! MMMmmmm I love pineapple tarts. Anyways, back to work for me. 0 comments Monday, December 03, 2007
Haha.
[ 5:40 pm ] Hmm ... this morning I felt a little weird. Heart started racing for no reason, and then suddenly I was worried over little things. Christmas animation deadline, practices, work deadline, etc. Anxiety attack. What the heck ... or maybe I was just hungry. Someone asked me something really stupid today. God gave us eyes and discernment for a reason, how is it possible to ask a question as insensitive and dumb as that? Not gonna let that messed me up, not when I've over and over again reaffirmed myself. Can't wait to get out of office, things are a little slow today. Wanted to do some animation work today, but better not ... I'm using company time. I guess I'll have to find time to do it, just don't know how and when. There's practice tonight as well ... sigh. I think I need about a week plus to finish up one sequence ... how lah like that. Argh ... can't wait for Christmas break. Time to chill out, relax and reflect. I think I reflect a lot. Don't know if that's healthy. I think I've grown a lot this year. What took years for me to forgive, takes weeks. What took years to forget, takes weeks. Progress. I like progress. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I'm actually quite pleased with myself. I know I have lovely pals, awesome job and job scope, a nice car to drive, financial security, a good church to belong to, hey ... what else can I ask for. All is good. Oh, and I got a flipping MAGNETIC bracelet man! 0 comments
Beat.
[ 11:16 am ] Heart is beating fast, it's not a nice feeling. Anxiety pangs are horrible. 0 comments Sunday, December 02, 2007
It's over.
[ 6:10 pm ] I guess I was happy last Friday night. I really had a good time among friends. Ho ho ho ho … I like presents … you know what, for the first time in my life, I had lots of birthday presents. Kinda sad, huh? At the age of 28, and only now I get to feel these kinda things. I really had fun. It was suppose to be a stress free day and night … and, yeah, it was. Stephan and Amelia came early to help out, thank God they did … I was still relaxing and taking my own sweet time … suppose to be no stress mah, but yeah, lucky they came coz I realised time was running out. Sunil came over early to help as well, with the tables and all. Hmmm … mom being her usual self was stepping on all my toes, hello, I don’t want stress. Chill. It’s a BBQ. I wasn’t too happy with how my marinade turned out … I think they were kind. Oh yeah, so as long they like it … maybe I’m being too critical with myself. Bought too many bread, tak habis …. At least Jenny’s kebabs were all gone :) Quite a few came late because of the kids holiday program. Eric bought … a tray of brownie! Hahaha …. I have brownies for a birthday cake! I think that’s really thoughtful. Evan and Kai Ling did a little acoustic thingy … I thought it was nice … there wasn’t any entertainment anyways. Speaking of which, I knew I’d forgotten something. No music … nevermind lah. I know I’m not much of a crowd person … that I cannot deny, but sometimes you just have to get out of your own shell for a while. It’s not about faking it or anything, if I’m happy, I’ll just show it and not keep it. If I want to enjoy the company of people, I’ll have to show it … I have to do something. Just something I wanna keep on reminding myself. So so so … what presents did I get!? Let’s see … Chris and Siew Lian got me 5 miniature Transformer. Quirky, funny, unique … I like! Stephan and Amelia got me a cool T-shirt in my favourite dirty shit colour … now, I’m a rock star. Ummm … I got a nice journal, really nice journal to jot my thoughts down … I appreciate that. I got a HUGE HANDBAG! It does look like a woman’s handbag … but the label wrote, Men’s Handbag … hmmm … must be Evan that choose it :D I like it … now I need to know when I can use it. I got a Starbuck’s mug, I’m gonna bring that to office and fill it up with Starbucks coffee at work. Michael got me a magnetic bracelet ... I wanted one long time ago when I saw him wearing his ... it's like so cool, and by far one of the best thing I've gotten. Eh ... suddenly I feel like a gift whore. I got a brown shirt … ummm … I know I’ll wear it someday. Yoke Yee bought me … Plain White T’s CD … I like it, been playing it in the car the whole day now. So me. Kelvin Tan got me a packet of Liquorice … cool, always to know how it taste like …. Speaking of which, I’ll go get a bite now. Janet asked me if I was happy? Hello? How can I NOT be happy. DG asked me if I was happy. Lip Guan asked me if I was happy. A few more people asked me if I was happy? Hmm … is there something that I should be aware of? Of course I’m happy. When the night was over, Sunil and Albert stayed back to help out with the cleaning … cleanup crew! So, will I be doing this anytime soon? Maybe not … maybe something a little smaller and cosier for my next birthday. Who knows what would happen in a year’s time? I’m so hoping for the best. Putting away all unhappy thoughts and moving on as a 28 frigging year old man. Now, I have no idea how I’m gonna complete 3 animations for Christmas in 2 weeks time. Illustrations aren’t exactly done either … I’m a little worried already. Can we pull this off!? 0 comments Archives nothing |
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