about me A loner, although do enjoy the occasional companionship, if you can handle it. Enjoys long term friendships, sensitive, ponders a lot about life and people. Thursday, November 22, 2007
Some update.
[ 3:46 pm ] I could just sit down ... and pour out everything about life ... but, that's all I ever do, huh? It starts to bore me when I think too much about things that are happening around me. Doesn't interest me anymore. Maybe I'm looking forward to greater things and major changes. Yeah, maybe. Or maybe I've changed, or maybe not. I don't know. There still are things that never cease to wonder me. A child holding her dad's hand while walking. Somehow when I saw that, I knew I want that. Maybe because I never had it ... maybe I forgotten. There's always something beautiful when I see that in front of my eyes. Maybe I've gone soft. Maybe I've grown a little older and now looking forward to having a kid of my own? Must be the aging that's messing me up. One thing at a time ... So, God, can I have that picture one day? Mom has been really nice lately ... maybe 'coz I'm leaving AYA end of the year and moving on the working world again. Who knows? Things are looking good, I'm happy ... but things could be better. How much can I do? I feel so stretched at work. Thank God I'm used to really tight deadlines, otherwise I'd be dead by now. It's been amazing, I'm doing things that have direct impacts now. As worldly and humanly as it may seem, yeah, it does satisfy me when I see my work up. Am I allowed to feel this way? What about being humble and all? Just made the full payment for the car yesterday evening, if everything's fine, I should be seeing it tomorrow ... or early next week. Anyways, doesn't matter to me. Yeah, it's fun and all having a car now, but .... never mind lah ... I doubt anyone would understand this part. Maybe, I'm taking things for granted ... but I do thank God for it. He knows I'm happy, but how come it's not really showing up on my face? Muka macam batu :D Ok ok ok Count and thank your blessing! I've invited a few people for a little belated birthday BBQ next Friday. I'm really wondering how many people will turn up? I didn't really invite that many people ... only people that I knew and am close with. Well ... I guess it doesn't really matter at the end of the day, right? I don't know what to feel. And I didn't felt like inviting the whole world. It's kinda hard to define friends, huh? Maybe I'm a people pleaser afterall, not wanting to offend people. Hmmmm .... Anyways, things should not be complicated when we simplify ourselves. Easier said than done. Take out the emotional baggages, and it'll be easy. I've always envy the simple minded, and I've come across a few. They don't question. They follow. They don't worry. They believe. Amazing. I'm not saying this out of sarcasm honestly. FUnny how people want to be opposite of what they are when their weaknesses are revealed. Maybe I don't want to be simple, I just want the attribute of those who are simple, all the while maintaining what I already have. That would be better. It's such a challenge sometimes. Honestly, I'm not looking forward to packing my office stuff in a box at the end of the year. It feels a little sad. I've made home at my little corner. Too comfortable. I've always wondered if these idiots even care if I'm not around. Bodoh. Anyways, out of sight, out of mind. Sad. Sad. Sad. Been trying not to take things personally. It worked out quite ok these few weeks and I'm on the right track again. I still believe humility breeds respect. As much as I hate submitting myself to things, but I know one day, I'm bound to come across another idiot like me. Better to know how to handle myself before handling other people. Hmmmmm ... all these suddenly sound so weird to me 0 comments Archives nothing |
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