Life can be cruel at times. Careful when you say that, in a way, indirectly you’re implying that God is unfair and unkind to you. I am learning this the hard way, since things are always almost clearer when you are in the thick of the situation. Sometimes I hate it with all my guts. I ask God. Why? There isn’t always an answer.

Sometimes people need to feel a little regret in their lives, otherwise there’s too much pride and over confidence. Both aren’t the best to have in any case … better not to have both. Regrets? I do have them, I have a lot ... but I try not to dwell in them for too long. I learn from regrets, not the best way to learn things, but effective. I always think of myself as a repairman. Fixing some regrets I have. Sometimes it does work and wounds are healed, other times, it just opens up old wounds. You can’t fix everything. I can’t fix everything. God fixes everything.

I used to give up a lot when things get too rough. Just admit defeat and pack your bags. It took a long time to learn. Really long time. Always got bullied in school, picked on, spat on, even persecuted on. Never much of a ‘hero’ to say the least, but I was good with the little things I have. It takes courage and a lot of public humiliation on my part to learn, but I found my identity. I know who I am. I know what I like and what I don’t like. I know the type of music I enjoy, I know what kinda girls I like, I know what kinda girls I don’t. But one thing I realised, was the importance of having someone believing in you. Sad to say, not many do. I grew up asking myself, how come? Don’t they have faith in me and what I can do? I know I can do this, how come you don’t believe in me? Deep inside was a kid always searching for someone to believe in him. He found very few. So he grew up believing only in himself. There is no strength in there. There’s none. I found out, there is strength, joy and comfort when someone believes in you and in the things that you do. It’s so hard to find these people. I lost some. I lost one.