Gray, quiet and tired and mean, picking at a worried seam ...

Aiyah ... so hard to get that song out of my head. It's at a continuous loop now. Hahaha ...

You know, I was thinking (don't I always?) ... what's life gonna be like for me at the age of 30 next year? Shit, I'm turning 30!!! Did I lived out a meaningful life in my 20s? What do people do when they are in their 30s? Settled down in their jobs? Married? Have kids? I don't know. All I know is, things are happening at a pace that I can't keep up with. I don't believe I'm pressured by it all ... but it does make me wonder a lot about where I am at now. Why are things happening at a slower rate in my life? Sad, hor? But to whose standards am I comparing myself to? I don't WANT to be like 'them'. I WANT TO CONQUER THE WORLD!! So says the guy who's gonna approach mid-life ... HAHAHAHAHA ... did I mention I want a red sports car too? ;)

I believe there's so much more in store for me. Just like a little treasure box that God has in Heaven. Each year, He takes something out for me! Valuable lessons for His child. This year alone I think I've learn a lot about people in general that I ever had before. I learnt, as you grow older, you cherish your friends a lot more. You have lesser friends as you grow older therefore invest a lot more into them. I don't know how to repair those that were broken. Do I really want to? I don't know.

I wonder why is it that there just some people out there that you can't click with? I mean, in the eyes of everyone else they are like so cooooooooooool man ... awesommmmeeee peeoooopleeee. I thought I could click with them, but I just can't. They speak in a strange lingo. Heck, maybe I'm well past my age ;)

You know, you can't escape from hurts. You never will. You can guard yourself like a little pagolin, but they'll still be able to kick you like a ball. Habis tu, you still get hurt. Many times I realise that these idiots (oops) don't even realise that they had hurt you. Yeah, some people are just plain oblivious ... and yes, sometimes we are overly sensitive as well. What to do? Act dumb? Or speak up? I've been acting dumb for a better part of my life, I've decided to speak up now. I don't think you'd be living a happy life unless you had ever spoken up. People won't always share the same sentiments as you, but I think that's great. Isn't that what makes life interesting? There are some people out there that I might not see eye to eye, but I do respect them. We sometimes worry so much about being judged. So what? Judged mah judged loh ... can't do anything about it. I rather ignore it and be happy. Wait, is that called denial!? :O

Oh well.

Strangely enough, I am actually looking forward to 30 :)
0 comments