about me A loner, although do enjoy the occasional companionship, if you can handle it. Enjoys long term friendships, sensitive, ponders a lot about life and people. Sunday, March 30, 2008
Things are sweet afterall.
[ 11:44 pm ] Looks like I won’t be getting a guitar that soon after all. My insurance bill came and that’s quite a sum of money to pay. My life each year, cost that much? Not sure to be happy or sad about it. Either way, I’m not worried, because I know somehow my desires will come through. I don’t know where the money is gonna come from, but somehow it will. Oh, Kanmani is back from the States. I took her out yesterday, to satiate her craving for everything Malaysian again. It was fun to be in her company once again. Really miss those times. Still very much the same person I remember her to be, intelligent, witty, silly, unabashed and insightful. Though I think maybe age could have caught up with her, which I personally feel it’s a great thing. She’s a lot more mature now … umm … behaviour wise, I meant. Haha. Did I have a great time? Let’s just say, I value old friends a lot. I really miss deep, passionate, intellectual conversations!!! It was such a breath of fresh air. I’m not sure if I was any much help to her predicament, but I do hope the 5 ringgit bill explanation about Malaysia helped :) I’m trying my best at work, though sometimes I wonder if that’s enough. Maybe it’s a stupid trait that I have, always feeling that I’m not doing enough, always finding the elusive perfect way of doing things. Perfection will be the downfall of me. Sometimes, THE BEST isn’t perfect, you know? But I hope that doesn’t stop me from reaching it. At least I know, if I do fail, I did my best. People my age are all enjoying success, at the top of their game, leading the pack in the rat race, married, having a family, etc. Where do I stand? I am such a late bloomer. Seriously, sometimes I wonder, are they really happy? Are they really doing something that they want? Are they achieving things in life because life dictates it? I have no material ‘achievements’. I don’t have a big house to flaunt, a flashy car (I don’t consider my car a flashy one, ahem), or even the money to throw. Wait a minute. I don’t even give a damn about it, lol. I know for a fact, materials don’t give me the happiness I look for, but I won’t be so silly as to add that I don’t need it. It’s a necessity, but I won’t allow it to rule me. I had this thought the other day. Maybe it isn’t much of a thought anymore, as it has become a desire. Say, one day, you made a whole load of money. What’s the first thing you’re going to do? Passionately I said, I wanna give the 10% to my church! Wow, what an awesome person you are! God bless you! (being cynical here) I bet all of us have this thought. It’s always so very easy to imagine. I’ll never know until it happens. But there is one principle that I know is right. I will bless Him because He first blessed me. But hey, am I happy? I am. Am I satisfied? Well, not quite there yet. But I will count my blessings. I still thank God for an awesome job that I have, the responsibilities that I carry, the car that HE blessed me with, the family that HE’s holding together, the FRIENDS that I have and the future and promises He has in store for me. So, you’re saying, “Wow, he looks alright, everything seems to be taken care of” Au contraire my friend. I have my struggles and worries to deal with, but He knows the things I struggle through and the stuff that worries me. We each walk our own journey in life, for me, I know I’m not walking alone. He’s just there. Isn’t it great? I wonder if what Ps. Sandra told me the other day will ever come true. 0 comments Archives nothing |
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Guitar huntin! You want me to sing with you? Kaput. Ignorance. Low-Sang Chinese New Year Quiet. Joy. Hmmm. Happy. Archives April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 February 2004 July 2005 October 2005 December 2005 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 November 2006 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 April 2010 December 2010 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 September 2011 April 2012 |
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