about me A loner, although do enjoy the occasional companionship, if you can handle it. Enjoys long term friendships, sensitive, ponders a lot about life and people. Tuesday, May 16, 2006
I don't care.
[ 7:48 pm ] Someone told me that the first impression I gave her was that of the badass look and attitude. Hmmm I wonder did I really have that kind of impression. I somehow had a gut feeling all these while why some people avoid me for unknown reasons and why I only attract certain crowds … and girls (usually those skimpy clad, la-la, smoking, drinking kind … being a stereotype here). I asked Cheryl once if people are afraid of me, or how I plainly put it, “Do you think I'm scary?” If I remembered correctly, she said something like, “Nope, though, I did think you were unfriendly in the beginning ... hehe ... but that’s last time” Well, that’s a first. When I was in college people automatically offer me a smoke or ask for a lighter, although I don’t smoke at all. You can imagine the look on their faces. How come? Any other sins, I’ve done, smoking, nope. Weird? Btw, I love zippo lighters, but don’t have the reason to buy one yet. Anyways, that’s not the topic today. I do realise that strangers tend to shy away or keep a distance from me, especially girls, very cautious. Hello? I should be one doing that. Anyways, that’s not the topic today. I enjoy wearing simple clothing, mainly sticking with T-Shirt and a pair of good jeans, un-tucked shirt, rings, necklaces, bracelets … used to have earrings in college but stopped wearing. Look quite normal what? Must be the aura I’m carrying. Anyways, that’s not the topic for today. ‘Good’ girls tend to be less interested in me for some reasons, dunno why. Some don’t even bother to know you but already made an association of your image with behaviour. Weird. Then again, I’m not interested with those kinds anyways. Living in a sheltered world not knowing how the world works or how cruel people can be. Disappointments, stupid mistakes, regrets, sinking in a hole with only a string tied to your finger … man that builds character. Maybe it’s my dad’s influence on me. Anyways, that’s not the topic for today. I think I asked Jack before about my behaviour. He said people are afraid (girls mostly) by the way I talk? Don’t think there’s anything wrong with the way I talk. Quite normal. Loud? I hardly talk wei. Maybe I’m very expressive. Good what. Can’t take it too bad lah. At least I stopped swearing and cursing. One particular girl told me this once, “Rayson … last time I’m really scared of you one, you know? But, now ok. ” Eh … I don’t blame her, since she’s timid by nature. I think I’m quite gentle what. Anyways, that’s not the topic for today. Well, you can’t stop people from thinking anything about you. First impression counts, just too bad mine hasn’t been great. I think I need to smile more or at least be a little happier, letting it show on my stoned face. I think I have a colgate smile, need to smile more without looking spastic. Janita once said she prefer my angry look. Then again, she’s weird. Second ex once said she preferred the smiley look. Ok. I prefer my I-don’t-care look. What’s the topic for today? I don’t care. 0 comments Archives nothing |
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