about me A loner, although do enjoy the occasional companionship, if you can handle it. Enjoys long term friendships, sensitive, ponders a lot about life and people. Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Growing up
[ 7:07 pm ] While driving to work today, I was thinking back a little on my childhood. I really miss a lot of things. The morning fog, the fresh air (that kinda depends if the palm oil mill was operational, then we get stinky air), the trees and WIDE OPEN SPACE. I think I miss the huge compound we had. Plenty of space to run around and hide, but that's not the point. I need wide empty spaces. I used to make kites and there were plenty of space of fly them. How many kids nowadays know how to make kites? Heck, I remembered many years ago that my ex didn't know how to make kites. That was a shocker to me, I thought everyone knew how to make kites. So ... I thought her how to make ... a kite. The padang at the house was pathetic ... I don't even want to call it a padang. There were phone and power cables everywhere and there weren't even any wind. How to fly kite!? I used to spent my school holidays doing nothing but running around the house, ummm flooding ant nest, lastic birds (I usually miss coz I suck) and my dad would teach me how to lastic a mango fruit out of the tree (yeah, I miss all the time coz I suck). Things are so simple and carefree when you're a kid. The only thing that you would care about is the itch and rashes you get while playing on the grass and the occasional cuts. Studies? I was never a brilliant student in primary school to begin with. The concept of education somehow eluded me. Did I mentioned I never liked my primary school teachers? I think I was quite a slow learner when I was young. Maths never made sense to me and I'm usually careless. Teachers on the other hand were harsh and not understanding. Primary 1 and 2 I was usually asked to stand outside the class or caned for failing to answer the question on the blackboard. The thing I hated most was when they ask the whole class to stand and whoever is the first to answer a series of question gets to sit down. Guess who hardly got to sit? Kinda pathetic when I think about it now. Stupid teacher. There was this Singh teacher that taught us moral in Standard 2, Eng Ann school in Klang if I remember correctly. What an idiot. I can call him an idiot now because as I grow older and wiser I realise they aren't cut out to be teachers. Fine la ... I was a slow kid, but I didn't deserve to be punished for not understanding how to complete a crossword puzzle ... sorry, crossword puzzleS. The whole moral exercise book had way too many crossword puzzles, whoever was in the Education Ministry then should had been sacked. Crossword puzzle? All I saw was empty boxes, what do I do with these boxes? Hehehehe ... I randomly bantai alphabets :D I think maybe that pissed him off. But I really didn't understand it all. Stupid la crossword puzzle, that's why till today I hate doing crossword puzzles, although I understand them now :P I usually get an 'egg' for all my exam papers back in standard 1 and 2. Ummm ... things just didn't made any sense to me. Every morning a few of us would just shout to the other classmate who was first, second, or third that came to class. One morning I was the third to reach and they said, "Awak last!! Hahahahahaha". And I thought I was slow, but these guys don't know how to count. "Saya third la!!" Instead I found out later what they meant was, I was last in class. I was leading from the back all the way till standard 4 until my mom had enough and made me go for tuition ... she's my tuition teacher haha. You know, I really hated it because I missed all my afternoon cartoons (back in Johor we could get Singaporean channels), instead I had to sit down with her and go through my homework and extra math lessons since I was really really REALLY bad at it. Heck it paid off, my results improved tremendously and I topped the class :) But then you know what? I had to moved to another school because my family was relocating. I went through 3 primary schools, how sucky is that? I've lost contact with all my primary school friends. When I was standard 5, my dad bought 3 sets of encyclopaedia. I went through all of it, every volume. I grew a hunger for knowledge, the need to grab a volume and read ... in the toilet. Hey, why waste time, eh? I really loved reading when I was young, mostly English classics from Charles Dicken's ... David Copperfield, Oliver Twist, The Great Expectation ... and you would think a young mind wouldn't understand the content of these books. Too much reading makes you hate school. I hated it because none of the things I knew were in our education system. I could name the highest mountain, deepest trenches, smelliest flowers, longest bridge, etc etc etc ... but for what? None of my friends knew and when I do I share it in class I get reprimanded by my teachers for being a show-off. What's wrong with our education system? Sorry, I meant, what's wrong with our teachers? I was bullied by this one particular teacher for 2 years straight. I had to stand the constant teasing that I get from him. I mean, what the heck? Are you that insecure that you need to pick on an 11 year old kid? Shame on you Cikgu Hisham. Of course I remember your name, I remember what a poor excuse of a teacher you were. Ok la ... I am bitter when it came to teachers ... partly because I never had good teachers. There were only a handful that were really kind to me, and I need to emphasise the word kind. These people, they have the heart of a nurturer. They know what they were sowing into and I'm really grateful for them. Anyways I don't want to talk about teachers ... it's usually bad memories. I think I did ok at the end of my primary school days. I didn't do exceptionally well for my UPSR, I only got 2As and 2Bs. Bs for both my BM. Malay was never my strong language to begin with. You know when you're a kid you don't really care about who you mix around with? I had a lot of female friends when I was in standard 5 and 6 :D Simply because I refuse to play kerjar kerjar with the guys during rehat time. I thought it was stupid running around sweaty, instead ... I hung around with the girls. No, we didn't play masak-masak or tali. It was only when I got to Form 1 that it started to became weird that most of my friends were girls. Recess time we would hang around until one teacher stopped by and commented ... "Tak malu ke selalu gurau dengan perempuan?" Then it hit me. This is not normal. What the hell ... But that really affected me ... then I started to stay away from my female friends, and I couldn't fit in with the boys either. Recess time I was mostly alone. Now that I think about it, that was pretty sad. Often simple events that happen through your growing up years are the ones that affect you later on as I've realised. Why? Ohhhhh ... that was the defining moment why I grew up being really awkward around girls, even up till today sometimes I feel it. You have to consciously tell yourself otherwise. BUT HEYYYY so far so good. Anyways, back to lousy childhood story. Middle of form 1, we had to relocate again. We moved to Muar where I completed my secondary in an all boys school, away from girls :D But then hor ... when you're 16 suddenly all your friends are interested in girls. Everyone went for tuition and joined the Interact club, yours included ... but I only joined the club in Form 4 'coz I kept on missing on the good 'International Understanding' nights. What understanding? The only understanding we knew was, there would be girls :D Tsk tsk... boys. Secondary school was fun, especially your seniour years. The life lessons we learned and mistakes we made were just too valuable. Mistakes usually when it comes to girls of course. So mahfan, say this 'cry', say that 'cry', do this 'cry', do that 'cry'. Omg ... so sensitive. But noooooo ... I didn't make anyone cry. They made me cry. HAHAHHAHAHA When you're 16 and 17 you're unusually bold when it comes to girls ... almost to the point where stupidity takes control over you. Now I understand why they say boys are dense in the head. It's true, and some of us still are. I wouldn't approach a girl now like how I did years ago man. Ughhh ... shivers. Arghhh bad memories. Skip. Anyways, college life was a totally new ball game, but maybe I'll share about that another time ;) Thanks for reading all you silent people ... 0 comments Archives nothing |
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