about me A loner, although do enjoy the occasional companionship, if you can handle it. Enjoys long term friendships, sensitive, ponders a lot about life and people. Thursday, January 03, 2008
Insomia.
[ 1:49 am ] Can’t sleep … so I decided to read up all my old 2003 posts. Hmm … was I like that? Now I wished I’d go back in time and smack myself a little … but it was good, good memories. I couldn’t remember half the things I did … at least now I know who I went out watching X-MEN 2 with haha. Man, I miss some of them. At one time, every weekend was a clubbing night. Why did I go, anyways? I think I was with the right crowd, they’re … not bad people, just … lost, if I think about it properly now. Waste of money … though we got in free most of the time, but still, felt like a waste of money. To be honest, I hated every minute of it, music was not my type and it was loud, smoke filled the air, and fights occasionally break out. Still, why did I go? At one point, I gave that a really hard thought, this is not me man … so I stopped. I just hang around with them at the mamak after their usual clubbing session. My friends go clubbing a lot then … does it mean they are ‘bad’? I don’t think so, they have their quirks, but I’ve seen qualities in each of them that sadly sometimes I don’t see it in our Christian brothers and sisters. Sometimes I feel we’re more of a hypocrite than non-Christians. Thinking we’re better than them, don’t give me that look; I’ve seen those looks before. Only regret I ever had back then was, I failed to be the salt and light … what to do? Backsliding then … hahaha … didn’t even know the term back then. When you live in darkness, sometimes you are like the darkness. I wish I existed in ACTS back then. I wonder how different things would turn out. Maybe it will be good, but then again, everything I’ve experienced now … maybe I wouldn’t experience? Hmm … a paradox. If one day, you’re given a choice to right the ONE wrong you’ve done in the past, would you take it? I thought about it, there’s one, I would have taken, but … I’d be losing so much more in the future if I did. The whole thing about time travel is such a mess. We can never repair damages that were done in the past to save the present or future. Never. If you watched H.G Well’s Time Machine you’d know what I’m talking about. The whole time travel paradox is a mess. We can never go back and undo the things we’ve done … hehe … that’s why God is outside of time. I wonder what’s it like to be outside of time? I’d imagine Him in a room with a lot of floating screens … each showing a past, present or future event. Hmm … one day I’ll know. I’ve learned a few things lately, wanna know? 1. Never ask what another person’s worth is. You won’t have an answer, it’s not yours. 2. Pretty girls that smoke, they have interesting stories … why they smoke. 3. Be clueless. Sometimes it helps. 4. Be oblivious. Sometimes it saves you the trouble of knowing the truth, after all, truth does hurt. 5. Follow point 3 and 4 and you get denial. It’s not good for your soul, therefore the word ‘sometimes’ 6. Mothers will always be mothers; whether you’ve 20, 30, 40 or 60 … they will always be … mothers. That’s all for tonight. Good night. 0 comments Archives nothing |
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